There’s this other voice in my head,
You know the one I mean.
The one that’s always …
chattering, describing, deciding, commenting, and controlling.
The one that never … shuts … up!
It’s often not a kindly voice,
Best left to it’s own devices.
To run rampant decisions …
“I hate this place”, “my shirt’s too tight”, “look at her hair”.
A maker of ideas all made up!
When I’m trying to have this conversation,
This voice is not a friend to me.
“I did it again, stupid”, I’m getting fat”, toooo old now”.
I try to notice the voice
to harness its ignorance,
and it always comes back.
I try to ignore the voice
to give it no validity,
and it always whispers back.
I try to argue with the voice
to break the oppression,
and it always hits back.
I try, I try, I try … then cry.
The voice in my head never gives up.
It pretends to be nice to me.
Rationalizing, psychologizing, euthanizing and fantasizing,
A congratulations is due up
Cheering on negativity.
What has the voice in your head said to you lately?
(originally written Aug 2009)