Opinions and Farts: Phew!

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3 Reasons Why Opinions are Like Farts:


  1. They belong to ourself and only ourself;

     

  2. They are sometimes innapropriate to let out; and

     

  3. Often, we are the only one who can stand it.

 

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(My apologies to anyone I may have offended.)

A Panhandler’s Contribution

I recenly had a dream that I was a panhandler.

Okay – it was more like a nightmare – but it ended up still inspiring.

It was such a vivid and interesting dream,
when I woke up I had to write it down.
I didn’t know how I was going to use it, but I knew there must be a purpose.
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winter flower

Winter Possibility

The other day on a trip into the city core (in Toronto, Canada); I came across the usual people that is often seen day in and day out.  It is rather sad because they put so much effort to be at their corner every day (like a job), they could easily see solutions to their challenges and make a difference in their life.

Then I remembered my dream.  And I’m going to share it with you here.  I hope there is hope and possibility that maybe someone will pass this on to others who can use this idea.

***

I was sitting on the downtown corner of Bay and King Sts – the financial district to Canada’s financial power and major economic decisions.  So anyway, I wasn’t doing so good in getting money from people passing by.  Actually – NONE!

I was so saddened and disappointed in people that they could not spare a quarter; when they often pay $3.00 for the small cup of orange juice they were drinking. I thought to myself, “Don’t people realize there is poverty, despair, struggle, and other challenges that people face every day among all this wealth and privilege?”

Now, remember this is a dream.  Yet, while I was thinking that, I really couldn’t blame them – I suppose.  What do I mean to them other than just another faceless tragedy lost in the game of life.  As the warloads would say, “There’s bound to be collateral damage when progress is made.”

I was a cold morning; and the winds were pushing their way around the concrete structures without any shelter other than what I provided for myself.  Not the best way to invest a life – any life.  Even a dog would be taken in.  I would look up into people’s faces as they walked by and noticed their frustration as well.  Not one smile, or a glance, or even an acknowledgement that a human body was living on the corner for the day.

Sometimes I can be a little dense in my thinking ( – even in my dreams I’m not any smarter, lol); so it took a lot of time to work through how I was going to survive a winter on the desolate wasteland of financial power and oppression.  Of course, it took a lot of time (frustration and humility mostly) for me to work it through.

It took a lot of introspection about myself – about my past, present, future; about my skills and abilities; about my life lived as an “unfulfilled expression to the world” in my own little way. In dreams, as we know, there are no real time barriers or set patterns; so I managed to get in all the learning I got from life from my waking past to cram it all in, lol.

I learned something in Sales (in real life) many years ago and it came back to me in the dream.  It was about human motivation – their wants and needs – and the role it plays in getting people to do things.  It is actually based on psychology and is used in our lives by the media the most.  I remembered the very most single important thing that affects every single human (and sub-species, too).  It is this:

WII-FM:

What’s In It For Me

We are all in life for ourselves.  The individual is most important to themselves; otherwise, there would be no effort to live.  No point in eating if we don’t care whether we want to live or not.  So with that in mind, I came to the realization I had nothing to offer the people as they passed by.  There was absolutely no reason whatsoever to even look at me because I was not more than street furniture.

In the dream, I decided to give something in return for their donation.  So then the idea hit me!  This is the inspiring idea:

  1. I contacted a small business printer who prints business cards.
  2. I sought out the printers that give free cards in exchange for free advertising on the back of the card (WII-FM).  There are a couple in Toronto.
  3. With the cards I had printed 250-500 cards with inspirational and motivational quotes and anecdotes (with the ad on the other side).
  4. When I am on the street, I hand them out to the people as they walk by.
  5. The person will read the quote and (hopefully) get inspired from the “Thought for the Day” (or another title). In the fine print, you request a small donation.
  6. The next day, the person will take another card (with a different quote) and remember to give a donation the next day. The person remembers the feelings the card left her/him over the course of the day. They wanted to get the WII-FM – and they do!
  7. That day next, the person will have some change already taken out (from their cofee shop stop); and when they take a new card, they begin the habit of leaving change every day.

So, as you can see – everyone benefits as I can make a contribution in their daily lives – hopefully it’s a smiling and fulfilled day for the collateral damage of having someone inspired and happy around you every day at the office.  In this process, the WII-FM is fulfilled for everyone (printer, panhandler, donor) involved and everyone benefits greatly.

All it takes is a very little creative thinking and some work in the research.  ANYBODY can do this – no matter who they are!

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So, that’s my dream from a little while back that I wanted to share with you about the possibilities in even the most worst conditions in life.  I also wanted you to consider sharing with others with whom you may cross paths.

Namaste

k

A Life of Freedom Begins Here

Do you really want to be happy?  I mean, really!!

If so, what is it you think will make it so?

Have you pictured what your happiness will look like when you achieve it?

How about the people who will be in your life when this epoch is your expression to the world?

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May I offer a suggestion?

When we go through life, the most important thing that is going on is our relationships.  They guide us, suggest to us, help us, warn us, attract us, and on and on.

What I am getting at, is that our life begins to transform (not change) to reflect our goals and aspirations (and all those hidden dreams from the world) when we begin to get along with others – and ourselves.

Therefore, I have reposted a pic from a post a few months back.  I am making an assertion that these MAY be the keys to fulfilling the desires of what we want to accomplish in our short life before we go.

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What I have written below is the way I approach everyone I know and meet every day.  I always consider these 3 points when I look at everybody because it makes is so much easier to be in relationship with them.

  • I don’t have to get angry with anybody because I know what’s really going on to make us react and do things.
  • I listen more intently because I can hear the real meaning behind some of the stories (about their lives) they share with me.
  • I can laugh off possible put-downs (through jokes and little comments) because I know they can be true about me.
  • I can be more honest with (most) people because we’ve developed a deeper relationship.
  • I can be more selective with whom I wish to be in relationship because the ‘quality pool’ is much improved.
  • I can go on and on, but I think you get the point.

(Copy and print the pic and carry it with you for a while to remind yourself.  Try out the exercise for a week or so and see what a difference it would make in your life.)

Why We Are The Way We Are

Remember, I don’t suggest I know and believe these thoughts to be the truth.  They are just a culmination of thought, observance, and experience with hundreds of people I’ve met in my life.

Try considering giving a thought to my assertions.  If anything, it will get you to start you thinking one way or the other.

Until next time,

Kevin

Touching Freedom: Discovering A Life With Purpose, part 2

Why Is It Important to have Life Purpose?

If I may make a first brief request before we begin; I’d like you to think about something:

  1. What was it like waking up this morning for you?  What did you do?  How did you feel? What was your state of mind?
  2. Now consider the same questions and think to the time(s) you had your greatest experiences.  What were your moments like then?
  3. How different were the 2 experiences?
  4. Which do you experience the most?

 Which would you prefer?

 ***

A quick reminder note:

Don’t believe anything I write, OK?  It’s NOT the truth.  These are just my assertions, opinions, and observations based on my personal experiences of life.
If I may suggest to you:  Try this stuff out.  Look at it and think about it.  It won’t hurt.  Use what you like (if anything), and throw the rest away.  Deal?

 —– : —–

Eternal Life

Having the opportunity to Discover our Life Purpose
(that’s always been lurking and poking itself in and out of our experiences) is

AN AWAKENING

after years of desperately feeling around in the dark
(like the scene played by Patty Duke in the movie about Helen Keller)

and appearing to go nowhere without understandable reason.

Always wondering “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!”

 —– : —–

As expressed in my last post on “What is Purpose?”, I asserted that in our life when we get to express our Life Purpose (often or always – whether we know it or not), we experience a shift in our lives.  Do you wake up in the morning jumping out of bed declaring your excitement for getting the opportunity to go to work?  Do you feel like you will be off to work to make a difference in someone’s life?  Are you doing something that adds value to your life?  We give ourselves a reason to wake up in the morning.

We all do know the feeling of joy because we’ve all been there – I’d say probably up until we learn to walk.  After that age, life is rough because walking was just the first thing we had to learn – and we didn’t know that.

Okay, maybe a little harsh or off the wall; but the point is, the reality is that joy of waking is not always a joy for most of us – and it hasn’t been for a long, long time.

— : —

With Discovery Comes Understanding

The greatest feeling when discovering our Life Purpose is a magical experience; but getting the opportunity to live our Life Purpose is altogether on another plane: it’s just freakin’, fantastically amazing!  It’s like getting ECT (a hefty jolt of brain-zap); and all of a sudden someone turned on the lights (that we didn’t even know existed … though we had a feeling…) on our life.  Of course, being human; when the light went on for me – I made myself feel stupid and brilliant all at the same time.  (Is there an ailment that describes this, lol?)

The Best News

Anyone can feel this way (without the ECT, of course).  All it takes is just some personal conviction (not a conviction!), courage, and an emotional investment to live this kind of life.

Yes, it’s also difficult and easy to do all at the same time.  We’ll look at this in future posts.

The Disguise of Life Purpose

Here’s the most incredible thing I’ve noticed from the thousands of people I’ve known and met.  I’ve seen countless men and women from all walks of life nervously balancing the tightrope they call their life and expressing their Life Purpose – and almost every single one of them didn’t even know it.

When it’s pointed out to them (from many people) how great they were at what they did, it’s often just brushed off as ‘something I just happen to be good at’.  They don’t have an awareness for the gift they offer others.  For many, it’s just a personal hobby or interest that lives in the backburner of their life.

Yet the power of Purpose has no bias on who it chooses to affect or impact.  I’ve met personally irresponsibe people who’s lives got caught in the social disease of their circumstances; yet, they are the most genuine and passionate individuals when they are ‘in their element’ and expressing their Life Purpose.  Regardless of their life situation, such as poverty, mental health issues, or other outside interference of their social lives, there is always a look of love expressed in their eyes (their window to their living essence).

— : —

courtesy of Anne, Newfoundland.com

Why is it so important?

The main reason is because it gives our life (and existence) what we need and want from it.  Our health is emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and physically healthier.  Our body needs and deserves this.  And that’s a proven scientific fact in many areas of study.

Of course, with today’s lifestyles, it is easy to think we get everything from life we need and want already as life occurs.  Yet, you and I both know intimately that it may be possible what we think about and do with our time may be just distractions (TV, pub night, social media, addictions, etc.).  It helps us either to forget or forgive ourselves.

In a nutshell (greater detail in future posts), here are some examples of the amazing benefits of a Life with Purpose (and I kid you not!):

1 – We are Wealthier

Internal life benefit:

  • We do things better that creates value
  • We are willing to do “good work” with/for others
  • We share more
  • People want to give things to us
  • We spend less money on frivolous things

2 – Happier from the Self-Expression

 Internal and External life benefit:

  • We value the joy of doing what we love
  • We see beauty in everything
  • We see possibility in everything
  • Everything is experienced differently
  • We get a better perspective on our life

3 – People like to be with us

External life benefit:

  • We complain less about life
  • We like to be with others
  • People like to be with those that are happier instead of always complaining, etc.
  • We become good sources of ideas and solutions for problem solving
  • We become more empathetic to others’ situations
  • We don’t talk about or complain about others

4 – We are Healthier

 Internal life benefit:

  • We have less stress
  • We want to be healthier because we ‘have things to do’
  • We take care of ourselves
  • We understand the value of balance in our lives

5 – We feel valued (valuable)

Internal and External life benefit:

  • We feel like we are doing something of value
  • People are happier around us and share
  • People seek us out for advice
  • We love expressing ourselves as individuals

6 – We relate better with others

Internal and External life benefit:

  • We become better listeners
  • We are interested in others and what they are up to
  • We are more honest
  • We are non-judgmental
  • We like to laugh

— : —

 In the next post on “What is life like Without and With Purpose”, we will look at examples of what life actually looks and feels like when we are living a Life with Purpose – and of course, the other side of the coin with looking at what life is like for those of us who are still struggling with this dogged and elusive enigma.

Until next time,

Kevin

Touching Freedom: Discovering A Life With Purpose, part 1

What is (Life) Purpose?

This may be the second most important personal, intimate, and profound question we all face in humankind just behind “What is the meaning of life?” and just before “What is Freedom?”.  And it is most likely same the reasons it is the most difficult to answer.  It takes a lot of work just to consider what it actually IS before we even consider HOW to Live with Purpose.  All the more reason (especially in these times of short attention spans) to not consider our Life Purpose – it’s a lot of hard work – brain work – thinking.

Our access to this personal question is openly available to anyone who can understand our existence (we know that we are humans on the planet for less than 100 years). It is not so openly to those of us who are not aware of even this particular paradigm of life.

Life Purpose is being in control of our life.  It’s knowing that we will be doing the same thing forever – in some way or another.  LP is the reason for waking in the morning.

Purpose is creative.  Imagination comes from looking outside the ordinary and mundane and envisioning another way of expression.  Purpose is inventive and sees new possibility in things.  Purpose is curiosity and always asking ‘why’.  These are not things that we learn or practice like a skill.  It is an internal process within each and every one of us.

We can decide this way of living for ourselves; but often for most of us, it is decided for us because we gave up option of deciding a long time ago.

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The Meaning of our Life Purpose (LP) is …

… based on feelings, both physical and emotional.

It is a sensation inside our body and mind >> a collision course of creativity and curiosity. It’s a scientific and medical action that takes place in our bodies that we tag with a meaning or a name.

These feelings are found in a lot of things we do over our lifetimes. Feelings are important because they provide the snapshot of memories (both good and bad) that left an impression on our lives.  These feelings may then end up being connected to doing something great, and we loved it, people around us loved it, and it was something that we felt was a genuine contribution to life.

With those feelings, which we want to replicate forever, we end up making stories about ourselves.  Stories about our abilities, desires, obligations, family, competency, and any other description that would give us reasons NOT to follow through on our desires.

Nobody else can decide or define it for us.  It is personal – DEEPLY personal to a point where we may not even share these feelings with anybody else – not even our families and spouses.

We decide as individuals what our own LP is and means to us.

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The quest to discover our LP is an Internal Process with an External measurement.

While the issue of our Life Purpose is not always apparent to everyone at all times, it’s there for all of us.  It’s already inside of us waiting to be expressed to the world.  Waiting for us to ‘release the hounds’ of our secret desires.   But, before we can even consider the thought of seeking our own personal LP, we have to complete other necessary psychological and social tasks to be ready for the inquiry of the mind.

First thing, we have to complete other necessary sociological processes in our lives.  Have we tried things we liked and excelled – only to realize it is only ‘hobby-worthy’?  Have we taken any risks to seek out our LP?  Have we looked back on our lives to find any strings of similarity?

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How do we KNOW it’s Our LP?

When we have found our LP, we instinctively know already that it is found.  Again, as I said earlier, it is something we decide – so it is a result where we know unequivocally that our life (and the lives around us) is lit up with joy and excitement.  That’s one of the great payoffs – everyone benefits.

Some ways the feelings express themselves are in the nature of who we are being.  Sometimes, our thoughts can be obsessive and overwhelming.  Scary! (That may be why we shy away from further inquiry – the fear factor!)

Another good hint of our purpose is when other people tell us we ‘should get into’ or ‘be’ something that we’ve just gloriously and happily demonstrated. They don’t understand why we don’t do it professionally and make lot’s of money doing what is fun.  Sometimes, other people can see it before we can  – sorta like bad habits.

“Getting a feeling of your Life Purpose is like
having great sex for the first time.

Once we’ve experienced it,
  We spend the rest of our life trying to duplicate the feeling.”

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Living within our LP is a difficult proposition to consider because …

Probably the most difficult to seek and achieve, LP remains elusive to most because it involves 2 sides of our humanity at the same time:

1 – our individual Way of Being (Thinking):

– it colours our way of seeing the world and the perspective we have on it

– based on how we feel about ourselves

– being comfortable with who we are

2 – our individual Way of Doing (Acting):

– based on how we feel the world perceives us as individuals

– the expression of what we are thinking about the world

– it requires us to live with ethical and moral values

It takes a lot of conviction, courage, patience, and personal understanding to even consider the possibility of living a Life with Purpose.  Worse still, there are a million reasons/excuses for not seeking our LP that let us off the hook.

It’s always someone else’s fault. And we end up at the end of our lives saying we ‘coulda, shoulda, woulda.”

Sadly, we miss the fact that it is really the fear and discomfort we are avoiding that is really taking place in our hearts.  Besides, who deserves to feel this good in life (and get paid for it, too)?

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Next posting …

Why is having a Life Purpose is important to us.

See you next time,

Kevin

Life Without Fear: It IS Possible

When I tell someone it is possible to live life with Freedom from Fear, an interesting look comes over their face. They twist their mouth and raise an eyebrow as if to say, “Yeah, sure … right – like I’m afraid”.

Yet, I can also sense they know exactly what I am talking about, when a moment later they look at me with this look of confusion as they ponder the possibility with wonder and concern. (I’d like to know what’s going through their mind, lol)

(Actually, this happens a lot when I talk about things I’m not supposed to talk about – especially with guys!)

In this post, I will share with you some of my insights that can lead to possibilities to actually do what many of us see as impossible: Living Without Fear.  I’ll  include a couple of examples to make the point (so, I hope it doesn’t get too long).

Before we continue with this discussion, let’s recap what I asserted so far about fear:

______  .  ______

Fear is NOT REAL

It is just a LABEL we give to a FEELING IN OUR BODY (adrenalin)

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OurMISTAKEN PERCEPTION of Fear can be changed

We call the feeling Fear if the moment it happens is a real or perceived threat, and

we call the feeling Excitement if the moment is pleasurable and exciting.

We can pick and choose either – OR NEITHER.

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Fear is based on FALSE past memories

The interpretations of the feelings of fear can change over time just as the memory.

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We CAN live WITHOUT Fear

Fear is only a STATE OF MIND.

All it takes is Awareness.

There is no work involved.

______  .  ______

Some Great Benefits To Living Without Fear

It changes our life beyond anything we could imagine.

While the changes are subtle at first, over time we begin to see a fantastic shift in our lives.

We not only transform our experience of life by the way we approach the outside world (and the colourful mosaic of individual differences), but the internal personal experience of our essence becomes magical because we have a better understanding of ourselves.

We become “intimate with ourselves and become closer with others”

  • We no longer have to live the feelings of having to do things for all the wrong reasons.

Once we peel away the layers of excuses we make up about NOT doing things we really want to do, we then realize the deep-seated fears that rule our lives rear their ugly head and expose themselves for what they are: Just a feeling I am mistakenly labelling fear!

Consider this: Compare what we do for ourself personally and what we do with our money – and see if you take the same care. With our money, we know we are taking risk regardless of what we are doing with it (even spending it).  When we make large financial decisions, we feel the adrenalin rush and it gets us a little excited (or scared as heck, lol).  After all, we are taking risk. But what we do next (if we are doing our due diligence), we do our research and maybe hire an expert for advice. As we become more confident with information, the thought about our bodily feeling changes as the adrenalin rush (or the memory of it) dissapates.

This is what happens: As we get to the bottom of information and strip away the perceived risks (that challenge our fears), we realize we can make well-founded decisions with confidence instead of fear.

  • We experience no more feelings of inadequacy.

We can pursue hobbies, career directions, activities, and opportunities we truly enjoy and are good at performing because it truly lights us up – WE CAN’T FEEL BAD – it’s impossible because we enjoy what we are doing.

For example: Instead of hiding your tiny art studio and work in your basement corner as a dirty little secret, you can take a risk (lol) and decide to show it publicly.  You decide to show at the local community centre; and lo and behold, someone actually makes an offer on a piece. Another person invites you to show at the local artisan show. Once there, you then get another buyer for a piece and you meet 3 great people to chum around with and talk art.

This is what happens: Getting outside your head and shell, you finally express yourself and experience the rush of just having someone look at and appreciate your art work. The sales are bonus, and the new art friends are invaluable and allows you to stretch your imagination and boundaries.

  • Other people in our lives become more interesting and alive.

Because we know people live with their fears (just as we do ourselves), we can be more understanding and compassionate towards them.  Conversations become easier to have with strangers because we know they are behaving out of their fears.

For example: A young man stands in the corner alone at a community social.  You see him and imagine his possible fears (as well as the look on his face) and given the knowledge you now have about people and their fears, you can understand that he is so gripped with his fear within themselves, he cannot even talk to someone.  Maybe he doesn’t want to sound silly, or say something wrong, or appear aloof.  Sounds like a number of different possible fears, huh? And he feels like that just like we’ve all been at one time or another. You realize he could probably use a friend right now.

This is what happens: After speaking with the young man, you find out he is a fledgling artist and lives with his sick grandmother. He can’t go out much, so he is house-bound as well.  You realize you know someone who could use an artist to do some web design. You link them up; and some months later, you find out he is able to get homecare assistance for his grandmother and is now enrolled at art school to take a program on web design – something he always wanted to do.

______  .  ______

Some Downsides To Living Without Fear

It goes without saying that there are some downsides to this new way of thinking and being.  But these are usually temporary and the best thing that ever happened to us (in hindsight).

1 – People are going to see a change in us right away >> and they may not like it.

They were used to us cowering, or fighting back, or screaming, or crying.  Certainly not someone more confident and relaxed.  You are not reacting any more.  And deep down, they know the fear is gone – and that changes everything.  Then we quickly see them show true colours or their true expression of their own fears.

2 – Another thing to notice as we release Fear in our life is that we may take Risk less seriously.

Risk is what makes the world go ‘round, but that doesn’t mean we could just throw away caution to the wind.  Some fears are real and require the proper investigation before taking action.

 

This EXTREMELY IMPORTANT downside to Living Without Fear
is probably the reason why we have people do reckless and dangerous things (especially among young people).  And again, it is not always apparent – but I have deep and strong suspicions.  I believe it happens immediately and ends up sinking deeply inside our memories.

The worst downside:

When we confuse or mistaken
the feeling of the adrenalin rush
as EXCITEMENT
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Here are some examples:

Someone may drive home drunk one night and is scared of getting caught.  After a couple of times (and it doesn’t take long to imprint the memory) of not getting caught despite the feeling of fear, s/he decides (for some reason) that it is actually exciting to be breaking the law and not get caught.

After a few more times, the excitement causes him/her to take more and more in order to re-create the feeling again.  The progression of risk keeps getting higher and becomes a habit until something tragic happens.

***

Someone is living in debt and is scared of losing everything.  Deciding on fixing the problem by going to the Casino, s/he is getting an incredible feeling of the adrenalin activated because of the risk.  Once inside and gambling, the feeling gets stronger as you maintain hope of escaping the fear of poverty.

Then s/he wins a couple, and all of a sudden, the feelings of joy are connected with winning – and boy does it feel good.  Eventually, the risk associated with the feeling is exciting and escalating and we want to re-live it again and again – so regardless of the outcome at the end of the night, if strong enough, the new feeling of excitement compels him/her to come back until something tragic happens.

In the next post on Fear, I will offer some suggestions on what we can actually DO to change the paradigm of running away and actually take action in our lives so we can “laugh in the face of fear”.

Wisdom With: Paulo Coelho – Testing the Human Will

Here is a great anecdote I found from Paulo Coelho where he opines about the relationship between us and the rest of the world.

Enjoy!

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