Who Are We?

baby chicks

***

Q: What is the most common thing
found among all human beings (life)?

A: Our Differences.

The Leader’s Creed

orchid - JonSullivan

Imagination, Inspiration

Motivation, Do;

Passionate Leaders guide us on

That’s what leaders do.

Holds the night light, sees when no sight

Helps the frightened through;

With Imagination and Inspiration

And Motivation to Do.

(c) 2013 Kevin Collins

Life Without Fear: It IS Possible

When I tell someone it is possible to live life with Freedom from Fear, an interesting look comes over their face. They twist their mouth and raise an eyebrow as if to say, “Yeah, sure … right – like I’m afraid”.

Yet, I can also sense they know exactly what I am talking about, when a moment later they look at me with this look of confusion as they ponder the possibility with wonder and concern. (I’d like to know what’s going through their mind, lol)

(Actually, this happens a lot when I talk about things I’m not supposed to talk about – especially with guys!)

In this post, I will share with you some of my insights that can lead to possibilities to actually do what many of us see as impossible: Living Without Fear.  I’ll  include a couple of examples to make the point (so, I hope it doesn’t get too long).

Before we continue with this discussion, let’s recap what I asserted so far about fear:

______  .  ______

Fear is NOT REAL

It is just a LABEL we give to a FEELING IN OUR BODY (adrenalin)

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OurMISTAKEN PERCEPTION of Fear can be changed

We call the feeling Fear if the moment it happens is a real or perceived threat, and

we call the feeling Excitement if the moment is pleasurable and exciting.

We can pick and choose either – OR NEITHER.

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Fear is based on FALSE past memories

The interpretations of the feelings of fear can change over time just as the memory.

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We CAN live WITHOUT Fear

Fear is only a STATE OF MIND.

All it takes is Awareness.

There is no work involved.

______  .  ______

Some Great Benefits To Living Without Fear

It changes our life beyond anything we could imagine.

While the changes are subtle at first, over time we begin to see a fantastic shift in our lives.

We not only transform our experience of life by the way we approach the outside world (and the colourful mosaic of individual differences), but the internal personal experience of our essence becomes magical because we have a better understanding of ourselves.

We become “intimate with ourselves and become closer with others”

  • We no longer have to live the feelings of having to do things for all the wrong reasons.

Once we peel away the layers of excuses we make up about NOT doing things we really want to do, we then realize the deep-seated fears that rule our lives rear their ugly head and expose themselves for what they are: Just a feeling I am mistakenly labelling fear!

Consider this: Compare what we do for ourself personally and what we do with our money – and see if you take the same care. With our money, we know we are taking risk regardless of what we are doing with it (even spending it).  When we make large financial decisions, we feel the adrenalin rush and it gets us a little excited (or scared as heck, lol).  After all, we are taking risk. But what we do next (if we are doing our due diligence), we do our research and maybe hire an expert for advice. As we become more confident with information, the thought about our bodily feeling changes as the adrenalin rush (or the memory of it) dissapates.

This is what happens: As we get to the bottom of information and strip away the perceived risks (that challenge our fears), we realize we can make well-founded decisions with confidence instead of fear.

  • We experience no more feelings of inadequacy.

We can pursue hobbies, career directions, activities, and opportunities we truly enjoy and are good at performing because it truly lights us up – WE CAN’T FEEL BAD – it’s impossible because we enjoy what we are doing.

For example: Instead of hiding your tiny art studio and work in your basement corner as a dirty little secret, you can take a risk (lol) and decide to show it publicly.  You decide to show at the local community centre; and lo and behold, someone actually makes an offer on a piece. Another person invites you to show at the local artisan show. Once there, you then get another buyer for a piece and you meet 3 great people to chum around with and talk art.

This is what happens: Getting outside your head and shell, you finally express yourself and experience the rush of just having someone look at and appreciate your art work. The sales are bonus, and the new art friends are invaluable and allows you to stretch your imagination and boundaries.

  • Other people in our lives become more interesting and alive.

Because we know people live with their fears (just as we do ourselves), we can be more understanding and compassionate towards them.  Conversations become easier to have with strangers because we know they are behaving out of their fears.

For example: A young man stands in the corner alone at a community social.  You see him and imagine his possible fears (as well as the look on his face) and given the knowledge you now have about people and their fears, you can understand that he is so gripped with his fear within themselves, he cannot even talk to someone.  Maybe he doesn’t want to sound silly, or say something wrong, or appear aloof.  Sounds like a number of different possible fears, huh? And he feels like that just like we’ve all been at one time or another. You realize he could probably use a friend right now.

This is what happens: After speaking with the young man, you find out he is a fledgling artist and lives with his sick grandmother. He can’t go out much, so he is house-bound as well.  You realize you know someone who could use an artist to do some web design. You link them up; and some months later, you find out he is able to get homecare assistance for his grandmother and is now enrolled at art school to take a program on web design – something he always wanted to do.

______  .  ______

Some Downsides To Living Without Fear

It goes without saying that there are some downsides to this new way of thinking and being.  But these are usually temporary and the best thing that ever happened to us (in hindsight).

1 – People are going to see a change in us right away >> and they may not like it.

They were used to us cowering, or fighting back, or screaming, or crying.  Certainly not someone more confident and relaxed.  You are not reacting any more.  And deep down, they know the fear is gone – and that changes everything.  Then we quickly see them show true colours or their true expression of their own fears.

2 – Another thing to notice as we release Fear in our life is that we may take Risk less seriously.

Risk is what makes the world go ‘round, but that doesn’t mean we could just throw away caution to the wind.  Some fears are real and require the proper investigation before taking action.

 

This EXTREMELY IMPORTANT downside to Living Without Fear
is probably the reason why we have people do reckless and dangerous things (especially among young people).  And again, it is not always apparent – but I have deep and strong suspicions.  I believe it happens immediately and ends up sinking deeply inside our memories.

The worst downside:

When we confuse or mistaken
the feeling of the adrenalin rush
as EXCITEMENT
.

Here are some examples:

Someone may drive home drunk one night and is scared of getting caught.  After a couple of times (and it doesn’t take long to imprint the memory) of not getting caught despite the feeling of fear, s/he decides (for some reason) that it is actually exciting to be breaking the law and not get caught.

After a few more times, the excitement causes him/her to take more and more in order to re-create the feeling again.  The progression of risk keeps getting higher and becomes a habit until something tragic happens.

***

Someone is living in debt and is scared of losing everything.  Deciding on fixing the problem by going to the Casino, s/he is getting an incredible feeling of the adrenalin activated because of the risk.  Once inside and gambling, the feeling gets stronger as you maintain hope of escaping the fear of poverty.

Then s/he wins a couple, and all of a sudden, the feelings of joy are connected with winning – and boy does it feel good.  Eventually, the risk associated with the feeling is exciting and escalating and we want to re-live it again and again – so regardless of the outcome at the end of the night, if strong enough, the new feeling of excitement compels him/her to come back until something tragic happens.

In the next post on Fear, I will offer some suggestions on what we can actually DO to change the paradigm of running away and actually take action in our lives so we can “laugh in the face of fear”.

What Prevents Us From Getting Along With EVERYONE?

If there is a secret to living the life to which I aspire, then it’s got to be in how I relate to the world, to the people in and around my life, and to my self.

I have to be able to deal with the conflicts that come with those relationships in a healthy and effective way that empowers all parties.  There can’t be any other way.

Getting along with others has always been a constant and major topic of discussion in the world.  What I don’t fully understand is how we all know the significance of relationships in life; and yet, somehow we tend to casually (or fearfully?) overlook the critical impact they have on our ability to experience many moments of true joy, happiness, and freedom EVERY SINGLE DAY – regardless of our station in life at any given time.

I hear you chuckling in the background as you read again the above statement. True Joy? Happiness? Freedom? EVERY DAY???????

Got you wondering what new meds I am on now, or if there’s a great strain going around the neighbourhood?  Regardless of your musings, I can honestly assert – I truly and honestly experience a certain amount of zen most days. It is possible.

***

After years of experimentation and study, I’m testing a conclusion:

Any level of achievement or happiness in my life lies in every single relationship (and their meanings) and how I live and respond within them.

From a very young age, we learn to understand our relationships with different people come in many different forms on different levels.  We learn, even in early childhood, how important and complex they can be – and we even exercise it early and often.  (Do you remember, huh?)

***

I figure the meaning and level of relationship is

based on their expectations which is

based on their values and beliefs which is

based on their previous experiences which is

based on their secret memories which is

based on their private fears.

 

THIS IS THE SAME FOR ME, AS IT IS FOR YOU
and EVERYONE ELSE.

We are all the same.

 

AND, this is where conflict lurks in relationships, because it is all STORY made up in our minds and we have certain expectations on how the relationship should be.  The reactions from those stories lead to conflict because they come from the past; and for the most part, we are all convinced WE hold the TRUTH – regardless of who you are!

***

Fortunately, distinguishing how we are “being” in our relationships are not that complex to sort out; actually, it’s rather easy with a little time, some focus, and personal honesty with our self.

The best news >>>

How we deal with those relationships (the “doing”) and the conflicts that come with them are even easier still to rectify.  All it takes is a little time, some focus, and personal honesty with our self. (Sound familiar?)

Regardless of all the talk, the expert advice, and eons of knowledge we have we’ve gathered and shared about human relationships, we still don’t get it.  Proof of that is found in the exploding industry of therapy, self-help, building esteem, motivation, etc.

Yet, with all this knowledge and activity, the world still experiences violence against humans.  It’s very obvious:

We still don’t understand how to relate to each other.

Do we really want to understand?

 

We’ve learned from the world and everything around us (and from our own personal trials and errors) that there is no way we can survive in any way on our own.  There is evidence all around us that gives validity to the importance of relationships – regardless of all it’s baggage and drama.

We are constantly bombarded with the message thatthere is a better way to treat othersin religion, business, media, politicians, and social sciences among others.

To empower people, industries like film and television create stories on how people overcome their conflicts in human relationships.  The actual story issue is not that important – it’s usually how the characters act and react towards each other.  The character depth is always important in any story and we know we are interested in how others are ‘being’ under certain circumstances.  The hero always is a relationship-builder.

And STILL, we struggle.

Is the fear that crushing?

Relating with others is the most common occurrence we experience – and we still don’t get it.  Even with the knowledge that there is no way we can survive in any way on our own without these relationships – THE MOST CRITICAL PART OF MAINTAINING OUR SPECIES and our futures.

Regardless of the level of relationship we have with someone, just the fact that we’ve crossed paths with each other creates a RELATING OPPORTUNITY for us each of us to express ourselves – and it happens ALL the time.

***

Let’s look at these relationships

(for each of us, the categories have different levels of priority, so the following list is not rated):

(Please remember, these are only my observations and experiences I had over many years. This is not the truth.)
  • Family: eg: siblings, parents, extended families …

    • Blood is NOT “thicker than water”.
    • A long history in the relationship has a tendency to create long-term (and unspoken) grievances
    • The deepest form of Love and connection – creates emotions with the deepest crevasses and the highest peaks
    • Not relationships that are necessarily wanted – by default
    • Different shared memories from growing up together
    • Not based on common interests
  • Friends: eg: childhood, hobbies, volunteering, school, recreation, lovers …

    • Based on common interests with different levels of commitment
    • WANT to be together with each other due to similar wants and needs
    • Can end the relationship at any time without repercussion
    • The more often together, the deeper the relationship
  • Business and Professional: eg: co-workers, superiors, subs, customers …

    • Based on career/job status
    • Plays a role in each other’s lives
    • Can be long-term if carried beyond working relationship
    • Can have deeper implications on life due to type of relationship
    • Other than those types which are equal, relationship can be manipulative (and vicious)
    • Usually, based on fulfilling own personal needs/wants
    • Can end suddenly with termination of work relationship
  • Life Partners: eg: committed monogamous relationship …

    • Can be the most gratifying relationships we ever have
    • Very personal and deep with knowledge of partner’s secrets and fears
  • Miscellaneous Acquaintances: eg: people on street, local shops, neighbours, services …

    • Usually transient
    • Nothing at risk in the relationship – easy choice to maintain or end
    • Not too personal
    • Not based of knowledge of each
    • Develops over a long period of time
***

So many of us have a difficult time with relationships.  For a lot of us, when we enter into a relationship, we don’t know what we are getting into, and as a result, it is this void which creates the possibilities of conflict.  We have expectations.

Part of that is due to the way we see life in general; part is due to what we’ve learned about people; and part is due to our own insecurities we learned over the years about our own inabilities to have a healthy relationship (negative-based thinking).

***

Here are my general assumptions about relationships:

1

We have to accept that we are forced
to be in relationships with people.
We have no choice.

I am experimenting with this concept; so at this point, I place my trust and belief in this assertion.  As I go through my day, I keep in the back of my mind this assumption and see how I think and relate to people I meet on the street – both familiar and strangers.

2

If we don’t have ups and downs in our relationships,
then there is probably something not working.

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Given we know that all relationships will have ‘ups and downs’ and ‘ins and outs’ as it develops over the years, we can count on a few conflicts to sprinkle over the growth; and it is absolutely normal.  Again, this is a good sign that the relationship may be waning and suffering in silence.

***

As the world is today, we know there are good people, not so good people, and downright evil people.  Because we know this (and the evidence is shown to us at 6 and 11 nightly), a good many of us realize that with all the pain and suffering perpetrated by these people, it is difficult to keep a level head when determining (in our head) what to do when someone wrongs us.

***

Why do we have difficulty getting along?
Do we want to?

We have a set of social norms (or rules) from which we play.  Acknowledged or not, they are always based on LAW, ETHICS, MORALS, and INTEGRITY.  These rules give us guidelines on what is socially acceptable in any given culture (family, local, urban, national, etc).

We learn these rules from EVERYTHING WE LEARN and EXPERIENCE.  The rules are complex, without limit, transient, specific to person, place, and thing, always changing, always created, hidden, and not usually talked about (unless in bad taste or academia).

I have an assumption why relationships fail:

There are many ways to get along with each other; but at the end of the day, we either feel like an imposter, secretly remain angry, or we don’t feel vindicated.

Here is a list of some of the ways we have been taught to deal with difficult people/situations in a healthy and respectful way (Remember, they are based on our backgrounds):

  • Forgiveness

  • Giving in/up

  • Tolerance

  • Indignation

  • Conflict Escalation

Sadly, for those same eons we’ve know about the richness of great relationships, we’ve also failed at effectively dealing with conflict big and small.

***

For part two in the next post, we will look at issues of HOW we are reacting in those relationships and what we can do to eliminate the conflict.

***

You will be amazed how easy (and non-labour intensive) it is
to understand how create empowering relationships,

even with people that are unlikeable,
those we don’t much trust, and
people who’s lost our respect

without the games and general feeling of disempowerment.

 

Matrix: Success 101 – The Very Basics

Success is a Master of Trickery and Disguise; and if it were a living entity, it would remind me of an impish and mischievous gargoyle watching over our every move and thought.  Inspecting and judging without offering comprehensible guidance towards our dreams..

Success, achievement, project management, or whatever we choose to label it, can and usually does coat our life like warm dark syrup (or hot volcanic lava, lol).  Based on my experience, we carve this path in our life that can be a slow, burning, and deliberate  journey or rat-tat-tat stinging with exponential responsibilities  – NEVER BEFORE FELT or IMAGINED!  Questioning, imagining, and wondering with sometimes psychotic playfulness..

There will be times, while on your journey to freedom and personal expression, you will not recognize yourself because you will change as you move along chasing your dream.  Consider that you’ve never travelled the road before, then most, if not all, experiences you will confront and conquer will be new and uncharted territory – especially if you are up to something completely off-the-wall or brand new.

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The journey will at times make you feel like a hermit, and/or excited, psychotic, physically ill, questioning yourself, re-evaluating your choices and decision, scared as heck, and many, many more strange feelings of fear and loathing.

The disguise is how the journey towards success wraps itself in our life and then makes US decide what it all means.

Now, I’m talking about the meaning of your success – the perception of achieving your goal – the vision of knowing your dream – the accomplishment of fulfilling obligations and tasks the feeling of excitement waking up and skipping breakfast and a shower – the acknowledgement of your progress – and any other thing you can think of that comes to mind as you do the things that make you want to do the things.

***

Below, I provide you with four main steps or actions I consider and incorporate in my activities when I decide to take on a project.  I am a bit anal about having a procedure or plan because that is the kind of thinking I have had impressed on me throughout my life.

I believe in accepting personal responsibility for our lives.  A plan makes life easier. It makes living more fun and accessible.  It gives my life meaning.  And time and again, I’ve been told to HAVE A PLAN to get there.  This is the world we live in – we need to do certain things to get certain things.  So, I made this list of little reminders to prevent my GET-UP-AND-GO from GETTING-UP-AND-LEAVING.

Believe me, I have to follow these steps because I am human and I live with all the same frailties everyone else; So this is not always easy for me as well.

Over the years, through a lot of searching, training, and experimenting with success planning, I have developed this very BASIC Plan to get things done.  It’s not the end all to planning for achievement; rather, it is just a simple list of reminders to keep me moving along the journey of achievement.

I hope you enjoy my suggestions and would be interested in hearing any feedback you may have.  (This is not a perfect list, so I am always on the look out for new suggestions and ideas.)

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***   ***   ***

1

PICK YOUR DREAM

Ask anybody – they’ll tell you their dream.
  • “Admit to Yourself” HONESTLY and “Don’t Pretend”

    • We have our story we show and tell the world; and we have inner secret truths about ourself we don’t share – our fears, dreams, joys, loves.. We’re not bad, just without the esteem we need and want to get to where we want to get.
    • It’s easy to hide because then we feel better.  Nobody is perfect – and we are ALL human, warts and all.
    • We all live with the same fears, desires, and human conditioning – so you are not a freak.  The more honest with yourself, the more success you will have in a shorter period of time.
  • Peel Away the Excuses

    • There is a reason for everything we do and DON’T DO.  This includes our dreams and goals. Some are real, and some are imagined.
    • This is the most natural part of chasing dreams – most of us do it so we can separate the fact from the fiction.  And, it is a very freeing and logical event to show yourself the ease of going for it.
    • Once you strip down to your REAL SELF and the true person who you would like to express; you will feel the excitement returning.
  • Don’t FREAK OUT!

    • YOU WILL!  It’s just a feeling – read my posts on fear.
    • Don’t overwhelm yourself.  Look back on your history when you’ve investigate a possibility of stepping out of your box.  Does it remind you of previous sabotages?
    • Stop – Breathe – Think – Get Fresh Air.
  • Take a Chance and Believe Your Dream

    • Ask yourself: “If money and time wasn’t an issue, what would I rather be doing?”  Don’t rely on your memory of past attempts – consider this question: What if …?
    • You know you CAN – it may be just that you don’t know HOW.  In this day and age – finding the HOW is the easiest thing you can ever do.
  • Anything Is POSSIBLE!

    • Everything we see, experience, own, and use was first dreamed up in someone’s mind.  It had to start somewhere – and the person just said to her/himself – WHY NOT?
    • TRUST YOURSELF!

    • Chances are, if you haven’t been FORMALLY educated in the arena of your dreams, you are probably ahead of the game.  Formal education dampens the spirit and turns dreams into jobs.  If you are self-educated – all you need help with is the technicalities.

2

GET AN ALLY

Much respect for the straight-shooter
who whispers in our ear with love and without fear.
  • We Cannot Achieve ANYTHING Alone

    • I guess if there was a truth in life – it may be this. History is filled with overwhelming evidence that we need other people in our dream with us to make a difference in OUR life and the lives of others.
    • Bringing someone else into our dream takes a bit of courage.  It also takes trustIt’s still worth sharing.
    • There is someone out there who shares the same goals, values, and dreams as you.  They just may not have the skills you have – or the joy, or the desire, or the motivation, etc.
  • A Mentor/Coach Loves the Honour

    • You don’t have to re-invent the wheel.  Someone’s been on this road before you.
    • You won’t have a difficult time finding a Coach because people who are already working in the business love to be around others who have the hunger and desire to succeed and express themselves.
    • Depending on your dream – the more groundbreaking or new – the better chances to find an excellent Mentor.
    • It will take time.
  • Remember – Don’t FREAK OUT!

    • Even at this point you will get restless.  Thoughts of worthiness and personal value will creep in FROM YOUR OWN MIND.
    • We are our own worst critics.  Don’t believe the voice in the head – it loves to scare the heck out of you.
    • AND, by the way, THIS IS NATURAL.
  • Be Kind to Yourself

    • Make a list of your accomplishments – all of them from your childhood.  You will be able to see you can achieve things when you put your mind to it.
    • You will also notice how things you have done in the past all MYSTERIOUSLY fit in with the dream you want to fulfill.
  • Build An Extended Team

    • Besides having your Mentor/Coach, you will need to have trusted people in your life in other areas as well.
    • Bring together a “TEAM” that can support you on different levels in different areas.  You may want to have someone be a sounding board, someone to help with a proposal or business plan, some to help with money management, someone for mental health upsets.
    • Try to avoid people who are closest to you for guidance or advice unless they are truly impartial.  Otherwise, they either won’t understand what you are really up or they may not like the changes they are seeing..

3

MAKE A PLAN

There can be no conflict if you are awaiting it’s arrival.
  • Get an Outline for Your Dream/Idea/Project/Business/Craft

    • As I previously mentioned, information is available everywhere – and most is FREE.  Online, you can get some kind of organizational assistance on ANYTHING you are interested in pursuing.
    • Your Coach/Mentor will be a good source in this area.
    • Remember, to enroll anybody in your dream – they want EVIDENCE to know if you are chasing a DREAM or just a PIPE-DREAM.  This will show them you are serious.
  • Understand it is ALSO a Business (even if not intended or as planned)

    • I heard a saying years ago (I’m probably paraphrasing because I can’t remember who said it): “If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you got there?”
    • Your dream will need MONEY.  In today’s world that’s an unavoidable fact.  But you need to know how much financially your dream will need so it doesn’t become an issue later on – especially if you are just about to get on the CREST OF GREATNESS.
    • Your dream will need TIME.  This is important because people in your current life will still want your time and attention
    • Your dream will need EFFORT. Are you up for the CHALLENGE? Is it in you physically and emotionally?
    • Having a plan will take away a lot of surprises.
  • Know Yourself HONESTLY and Don’t Pretend

    • See (in your mind’s eye) how the achievement will look when you get there.  From the exercise you performed at the beginning, since you know what REAL skills and talents you possess, you will be able to see what you have to do.
    • Is more education required?  Do you need to save some money?  Where do you lack the understanding?
    • Creative people especially, are more prone to have difficulty in this area because it’s difficult to separate the EMOTIONAL from the RATIONAL when making a plan.  It’s not a part of the mental makeup when it comes to fulfilling DREAMS.
  • I’ll Say It Again – Don’t FREAK OUT!

    • Planning is probably the MOST VOLATILE AREA OF DREAM DEVELOPMENT for the dream chaser.

    • A lot of stress, miscommunication, and effort will be created because of the differences between dreamer and the people brought in to help with the dream.  Different sides of the brain is used between the relationships; so there will be clashes many times because of a deep misunderstanding of the needs required to perform roles.
    • THIS IS VERY NORMAL.

    • Just be PATIENT – Don’t end RELATIONSHIPS – Don’t walk away – and DON’T QUIT!!
  • Create a BALANCE in your activities

    • Dream chasing takes a lof of our time – sometimes too much.  People (and maybe yourself) will wonder whether it is becoming an unhealthy obsession or addiction.
    • Your health will be affected, your relationships will change, your time will disappear, and, at times, nothing else will matter. (Sometimes, this kind of personal selfishness will be essential.)
    • In your time management plan for your dream, make sure you include ALL areas that make up our lives: exercise, entertainment, socializing, EATING, going outside, etc. You get the picture and probably know what I mean if you’ve ever chased dreams in the past.

4

KEEP GETTING UP DON’T GIVE UP!

The Only Lifeguard That Saves Us EVERY TIME
  • The Bigger the Plan, the Bigger the Challenge

    • Like everything in life, you get out of it what you put into it.  When we are creating dreams, we are putting out a lot of negative influence on your OLD life – so your OLD LIFE will push back – and not always nicely.
    • Think of the computer acronym GIGO – Garbage In, Garbage Out.
    • Chances are, you are going to be taking on the biggest challenge in your life as you chase your dream.  Just think of this: if you have to rationalize going after your Dream once again, then you have to have all your bases covered.  That means having the answers to all the difficult questions as well.
    • If you have really BIG CHALLENGES – then you are pushing your plan – good for you!
    • No matter how big the problem/challenge, everything can be overcome
  • Keep the End Result (of your first goal) in Front of You

    • When the frustration starts to set in, just remind yourself why you are doing all this work.
    • I use displays and symbols to help me.  I always have some kind of visual reminder on my wall, in my pockets, pictures on computer, etc. so I can quickly remind me what kind of freedom I will have when I accept I am realizing my dream.
    • Use clippings from magazines, photos of people you admire, quotes and anecdotes, etc.
    • Don’t forget to use your team – they expect you to reach out to them.
  • It’s natural that everything goes up and down – so will you

    • If you have at least 25 years of life under your belt, then you understand by now that life is a funny thing.  It is unpredictable, fun, scary, sweet, angry, enlightening, and so much more.
    • LIFE forever changes from moment to moment.

    • Like everything else, your moods, successes, and moments of elation will also change.
    • EVERYTHING IS NORMAL!

  • Don’t FREAK OUT!

    • Once again, and I can’t say it enough, you will!  Something will happen that will knock you off your feet and kick you between the teeth.  THIS IS NORMAL and happens more often on a daily basis as you PROGRESS along your SUCCESS JOURNEY.
    • When things get overwhelming, watch some videos by Les Brown.  He is a great motivator who can get you out of your funk of feeling down, or stressed, or just plain tired.
    • DON’T DECIDE TO GIVE UP – IT’S NOT WORTH GIVING IN!

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So, that wraps up this installment of my understanding on achievement.

When Success is appearing to engage in Trickery and Disguise; remember that the journey will be difficult AND it will be fun and exhilarating. 

Consider these suggestions when chasing your Dream and PICK YOUR DREAM; then ensure you FIND AN ALLY; make sure you have at least some kind of PLAN; and finally, KEEP GETTING UP.

You will reach every goal to which you’ve ever aspired to achieve and excel.

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Your Home Library: Inspiring Reading 1 – April 2012

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Growing up with a voracious appetite for reading, I always ensure I am reading 1 or 2 books at the same time.  I like to mix them up to satisfy my wild moods and never-ending curiousity thirst.

I would like to help share the great wealth of information out in the world that I came to read and enjoy with you.  From these books, I’ve benefitted greatly over the past 30 to 40 years; and I can honestly tell you that they have helped shape me to the be the person I am today.

Therefore, each mid-month I will be offering suggestions of great books to read.

I will be sure to mix them up between genres, fiction/non-fiction, spiritual, self-improvement, psychology, philosophy, etc.

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Here are your Inspired Reading suggestions for APRIL 2012

Remember, you don’t have to read them all at right away.
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Leadership The Eleanor Roosevelt Way

Robin Gerber

2002

TOPICS: Leadership, Courage, Passion

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Long overdue, this absolutely compelling account of Eleanor Roosevelt‘s life, but more importantly her strength of character and values, is the kind of book one can’t put down. Long before Senator Clinton (whom she inspired), Eleanor Roosevelt became the first First Lady to shine on her own merits rather than be overshadowed by a husband who was not only a President, but a figure larger than life.

She cared for the disadvantaged, used innovative and creative ideas to help them, but more importantly never shied away from a fight of principle. Then and now, she was the kind of person people aspire to become.

review by Moses B. Altsech, Ph.D
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The Alchemist

Paulo Coehlo

1993

TOPICS: Belief, Personal Power, discovery

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This is a story of Santiago, a shepherd boy who dreams of traveling the world and discovering treasures, and is courageous enough to walk in the direction of his desires. In order to realize the best that his destiny has to offer, he travels from his home in Spain, through the markets of Tangiers, and into the great Egyptian desert.

He gets duped, experiences love, loses and makes money, learns a different language, meets different people, finds himself in pleasant and not-so- pleasant situations. His journey is full of adventure and lessons, while he also finds the privilege of meeting a king, a desert woman and an alchemist, each adding to his life new turns and perceptions.

The book emphasizes the values of spirituality, faith, hope and love through symbolic narration of a fascinating story of an ordinary boy with extra-ordinary beliefs. It teaches its readers, in a very subtle and effective way, the power of positivity.

Book Reviewer: Tanvi Singhal
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The Official Guide to Success

Tom Hopkins

1985

TOPICS: Leadership, Success, Personal Empowerment, Goal Setting, Selling

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In this book, he offers his personal success programme. It’s not sales training: it’s training in the art of success – at being happy, well off in mind, body and bank account. This guide teaches the reader tried and tested motivational and inspirational techniques to help achieve one’s goals.

 Review by: Boomerang Books.
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Enjoy your discoveries!

 

 

Values & Beliefs: Shila – My Mistress of Endeavour

or “How To Succeed Without Trying”

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In hindsight, the story of how I come to meet Shila Murti seems more mysterious than the actual happening at the time.  It wasn’t a smoke-filled den into which I happened to wander, to find an ancient sage nestled in a cozy dent in the corner.

Neither was it the voice of an enigmatic soul emanating magnetic vibrations to draw me closer.  Still further, a raspy and quiet voice didn’t draw me to put my belief in a stone that can guarantee everlasting peace and serenity.

It would have been so much easier if it had, though!  Instead, as I wandered into a new living space and was trying (once again!) to get settled, I attempted to focus my energy and efforts on completing at least one task of the many I was sorting out.  You see, over the past few years, I have been searching.  Not sure exactly what It was I was seeking – only that I had building towards something – something bigger than me, and I was feeling like an octopus.  I had my arms going in all directions reaching out for something to anchor onto.  At that time, I ran into another tenant, Art Seligman.  As he briefly introduced himself, he informed me he had a gift for me – just be patient.  I thought it was very kind of him to offer me a ‘housewarming’ gift; and I was looking forward to his generosity.

______  .  ______

On an ordinary day just a few weeks back, I was pulling at loose ends on the next stage of my new life (you know, the usual things) and writing on my computer.  (Even though I live with four disabilities, I’ve never let it be an excuse for not making a contribution.)  And having a fertile mind, I was trying to work on five or six projects all at the same time – just picking away and updating information as the creative thought came to me.  Yet, I was feeling frustrated because I neither felt like I was accomplishing anything, nor did I feel was I making good use of my time.  Of course, again in hindsight, I realize the untruths I was planting in my mind. Grrrrrr!

I was on my way outside to get some air, and I happen to meet with Art in the doorway.  I was six inches of not having this meeting.  So, Art introduced himself more fully and we seemed to have a real great conversation.  He decided to give me the gift he had promised.

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I will say this about myself; I’ve met 1000’s of people over my travels.  I’ve heard of everything and experienced much more.  My homes and travels, which brought me across Canada several times, allowed me to be exposed to situations I never would have been privy to had I stayed in my little shell of a corner.

So, naturally, I’m a whyz-guy – I have this desire to ask “why” about everything and anything.  I’ll read anything and try anything as long as it doesn’t hurt me physically.

Having said that, I was naturally a bit skeptical about what Art was telling me as he handed me the gift.  Besides, it’s not the first time I heard something like this before.  I looked at the gift and saw it was 2 dark rounded stones.  And not just any stones: but Shila Murti stones.  I was told to carry one with me at all times and keep one in a safe place at home.

I held the Shilas in my hand and they felt warm.  I was given the background of the stones and the “energy” they held.  As a scientific-based thinker, I had my doubts; yet I do have enough understanding about the world to know everything is made of energy – it is a scientific fact.  So I listened and stayed tuned in without disbelieving.  I was told there were benefits from carrying this stone as long as it was with me at all times.

______  .  ______


The reason I went ahead with this ‘experiment’ was based on one thing that was actually quite profound in the events that took place.  It was this:  At no time did Art ever ask me to believe in anything, or follow something, or do anything (other than carry) that would make the energy ‘work’.  All he said was to carry it around with me and I will notice a shift in my life that will help me become more focused, accomplish more, and experience my life with others on a different level. (Actually, that’s what I heard in my head – they may not be his exact words.)  I thought that was easy, so I complied.

Well, what happened (starting almost immediately) was completely beyond my comprehension of the way the world worked.  I was, after all, a former military soldier, worked for 3 governments, worked in social services, and had my own businesses – – – and, in all my years of working experiences, the speed and quality of accomplishments I experienced over the next few weeks (to today) were transformational compared to any other period in my life.

Without doing anything other than carrying around Shila in my pocket, my life is taking on a new purpose.  I have, without any real effort, laid the groundwork for me to not only understand the direction in which my life is heading, but to take concrete actions that fill in the cracks of previous accomplishment.

Having re-established relationships from my past, both long-ago friends and mended loves with family members, I have been given a new and empowering feeling of certainty and love for the work I am doing.

Now that I have met with lawyers and professionals to help me sort out my long-term hurts that have impeded my true growth for decades; I have been given validation for my skills and talents and the work I put into them while overcoming barriers I can resolve.

______  .  ______

Because I am sharing in people’s lives more intimately (without even asking), and engaging in conversations that now leave us both alive and invigorated rather than sad and depressed aftwards; I now see the world on a different level:

  • I now have a closer relationships with life (mine and others’), giving me greater hope,

  • I am re-energized and more active because I have a better understanding of the value in the work I am presenting to the world,

  • I am more confident because all life indicators are directing me on the right path, and

  • I am truly happier, because I am expressing myself and the essence of my very being.

______  .  ______

Keep this in mind because this is very important:

I didn’t do anything with the intention of having it happen – things just did.

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The only difference I see now is in how I approach anything that happens to me.  This is the real key (I think) that has the Shila Murti become so valuable to me.  It is very subtle and I only notice it after the fact.  It is this:

  • In a lot of things in my life, I always question myself or decide on something after I check in with my feelings. Now I notice I just instinctively go up to someone (even strangers now!) and have a conversation with him or her about something.

    • For example: to talk to someone I know on the street.  I want to talk to them, but something inside of me tells me not to (for whatever reason). So, I don’t speak, and I miss out on a conversation either I needed to have or wanted to have. Now, I don’t hold back the energy inside of me; and instead, I just acknowledge the other person – and usually we share a comment or short (and even long) conversation with others.
    (After meeting a stranger at McD’s one afternoon, I ended up being invited to his home to show me an invention he and his wife created. We discovered I had the skills he needed to help build his Business Plan, and we traded cards. We may enter into a business relationship. All because of a bird flying overhead!)

______  .  ______

As I said, there was no intention in anything I was doing to substantiate the value of Shila. These things are just changing on their own.

And the best thing – I find the more skeptical I am about the stone, the more effective it is.  I look for holes in the possibility.  I look for downsides to this phenomenon – and I can’t find any!

Imagine That!

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