3 Reasons Why Opinions are Like Farts:
They belong to ourself and only ourself;
They are sometimes innapropriate to let out; and
Often, we are the only one who can stand it.
(My apologies to anyone I may have offended.)
(My apologies to anyone I may have offended.)
Her response was ground-breaking for me. I didn’t realize before character and dignity could be related. I always thought dignity was controlled by the actions of our character; and if we did things that were un-liked by others, then we were to be shamed. Then this lesson.
That empowering personal lesson stays with me today. In every act I perform in life, I not only ensure my dignity remains intact; but I also advocate it for others.
The lesson I learned that day:
We are always looking for secrets on how to be comfortable (and still safe) while enjoying the fuits of our existence. We bathe, sprinkle, cosmetize, stretch … well, you get the idea. And hopefully, we get what we want out of life.
We spend, and record, experience limits, buy swag, eat and eat. This way we get what we want – right? All we have to do is indulge ourself, right? Or is it?
Personally, I think – in this day and age, we would know enough about life and society and ourselves that tell us that all of these kind of distractions get us nowhere except further into the pit of ‘waiting to arrive’. We work hard at it too.
But if we were to concentrate less on ourselves and more on others, what are the chances we probably would have more than everything we ever wanted?
Sadly, in all our worlds we experience, there’s this underlying current of fear, mistrust, and misunderstanding that always gets ourselves into trouble. You know – the interpretations, assumptions, whispers, rumours, etc. That, of course, only gets us 1 thing for sure: trouble!
So, I’ve compiled a list of things we can do to get anything we ever wanted from people and our life. It’s not in order or comprehensive. I didn’t give much thought to it other than just write as I think it here. Do you want everything you ever wanted?
No matter what, be there for someone. It always benefits everyone for a long time.
It’s easy to tell when someone is not really listening. When listening happens – things you never imagined before happens.
Enjoy a little lottery of life without the money. Do something different that stands out. The greatest expression we can offer to others.
This is the only go around. We don’t get out of this life alive, so enjoy the leaf, flake, eye colour, tear, and all the beautiful results of life.
We all live in the realm of life that protects ourselves first (that’s why heroism is recognized). When we understand people – on an individual basis – and what they seek from life, we can connect on a deeper and more profound level.
The easiest and cheesiest way to get what you want. (Unless, of course, you worked your butt off saving money for a long-held dream). Besides, the joy wears off quickly enough.
Do this and people will love you. What else is there to want, huh?
Is influence a good thing? Does it depend on it’s motives? Can we influence and maintain the goodness of getting everything we want?
My personal favourite. At service to others can be an honour if employed in an altruistic and ‘good’ way. The world has many ways of looking at service as a way of being; and I tend to see it as the gateway to getting along with each other. Besides, we cannot survive without each other and that has a lot to do with serving others.
I suppose this is a way – and it works most of the time. But while the bully is getting everything s/he wants, where the real meat of living takes place in the little interactions between people. The whole point of having everything is moot.
Here’s a bonus one, but I wouldn’t recommend it:
Sadly, this is where we tend to lurk when we want our goals and dreams to happen. And not even just those – but the next promotion, the minor surgery, the fitness, the …
Even to the very end – Mom got the last laugh on life. And it wasn’t over yet. Threre was more … but those are for later. For now …
Here, I’d like to share something that happened to me in the last week of her life while she was clinging to every last breath she could muster in her tattered and tired lungs. Mom was a chronic asthsma her whole life (and smoked most of it) – and when the doctor had a look at her lungs not too long earlier, he said her lungs were “just like leather”.
It must have been horrible gasping for the final hour.
Anyways, she was in the hospital on her birthday and it was looking grim; and the doc told her it probably wouldn’t be long.
All 8 of us kids took our turns saying goodbye. It was sad, and even though she never said she loved me, I knew she did. We were just too much alike.
Now, Mom was always one to throw someone off – and she did. It was one of those LMAO moments. She also had a long memory, and never let anyone get away with anything on her.
When I came into the hospital room, it was dark and shady – and incredibly alert. Mom didn’t move much and said less, but I noticed she was as sharp as a whip. Even in her last days, she recounted and whispered her adventures and shared smiles. We didn’t talk about us, or “my father”, (as she always called him).
This last day, when Mom knew I was there; and I noticed, I moved in closer to her side. She wanted to say something and reached out to pull me in. Our faces were almost close and Mom whispered decisively:
“You see, the psychic was wrong at Expo 67!”
Two days later she died.
The backstory is funny, in that, when she travelled with my sister to Montreal in 1967 in honour of Canada’s Centennial year, she went to see a psychic at the World’s Fair. The psychic told Mom at the time she wouldn’t live to see her 68th. She always held that grudge and over the years she would bring it up – and if there was anything she wanted to beat – was that damn psychic.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom
I Love You,
What I loved most about Mom:
She was a straight-shooter and to the point, so I knew if I wanted to know ‘the way it is’, she was the one to go and get advice. She didn’t mess around with muddying up the lesson with emotional drama or excuses – like I said – just like an unpire (and she loooooooved baseball – Go Jays!).
A point about her opinions and parenting: when I say ‘the way it is’, I am referring to her existential way of looking at life. She wasn’t an emotional person (and she passed that down to me, drats!), and I think she saw the fakery and illusion life can dish out. She didn’t say ‘the way I see it‘ or some other attachment, she ‘gave it to me straight’. There was a strange humility about her because she never really acknowledged her wisdom because she was never aware of her own expertise based on her personal Life Lessons.
She once said to me (as she said to many) as she gave her opinion on her racism (and she was proud of her humour in it):
Anyways, back to my point of this post.
She was cynical about life too. She learned, saw, and did enough living in the big city (Toronto, Canada) to get a taste of everything urban life can offer. Like most others around her (especially her friends), they were of the same general opinion about life.
Personally, I think some people liked being around her because she spoke for them – for their frustrations, venting, saying something when it needed to be said. Like I said earlier – she is a straight-shooter, and (like I picked up from her) she didn’t care who the person was thay may have been doing something that wasn’t Ethical, Legal, or Moral – she was going to say something. She had a saying for it, but I’m getting too old to remember it now, lol.
I don’t know if there is any other way to describe our relationship, because she and I were both alike in so many ways; and yet, we were almost as distant as Venus and Mars. I love(d) her immensely – she knew it – and I suppose she loved me.
I asked her once:
She was very cerebral.
I never did hear what I wanted (and needed) her to say.
It took a lot of years to get that one. 8-}
… to be continued.
I need to know …
When the pinch inside my heart
is pressing, and a nervous rush of fear
recalls a frozen moment of confusion,
will it always void the possibility of a lesson learned?
Will THAT THING always be there?
I’m no longer afraid.
But does it ever end?